Go back 10 years and I had over 1000 friends on Facebook, I had heaps of groups of friends and to be honest was at my most lonely.
These days I’m very lucky to have a close bunch of friends that I can count on one hand, and without realising it before I’ve learnt a whole lot about friendship in the last 10 years so thought I would share my 7 friendship truths with you;
1. Not All Friends Are Created Equal
This is first on the list because it’s a big one, just as all humans are not created equal so too are friends. This might just revolutionise your friendships, you will have friends who are the absolute best fun on a night out but that you wouldn’t go to in an emergency, just as there will be friends who relish a spontaneous thursday night movie marathons rather than running actual marathons with you. Know your friends strengths and let them shine!
2. Some Friends Will Let You Down
There are numerous times in life when you will really honestly need your friends, sadly not all of them will be there when it counts. My realisation came when my dad passed away when I was 24, I was saddened by the actions of some life long friends but also amazed by people I’d only known 6 months.
Know one thing, some people genuinely can’t be there for you because they physically can’t, and other just don’t want to be. You need to move on swiftly from the latter, if they don’t want to be in your life, set them free!
3. There’s No Such Thing As “Too Busy”
This is one of my biggest friendship annoyances, there is no such thing as too busy, I have friends with numerous kids, jobs and busy lives who still find genuine time to spend with me and other friends. Sure we all have busy times, but eventually you have to accept that “too busy” is just a polite way of them moving on without having the conversation.
4. Time Means Nothing
There will be some friends you genuinely thought would be around forever, you would go to their weddings, kids Christenings and dance at their 60th Birthday party. This doesn’t always happen, instead like me, you might find that the people you have known 5 years are the ones who feel like family, who know you better than you know yourself. A certain Young Adult Fiction author and mother of two knows who she is!
5. Some Friendships Are One Sided
This is a heartbreaking one, especially if like me you realise after years of friendship, but some friendships are one sided. Just like any relationship it’s devastating when you realise, hurts like hell when you make a change but in the long run love in whatever form has to be a two way street. Have another pride and love for yourself to move away from these one-sided friendships, believe me its for the best and makes way for beautiful other friends and their equal sided loveliness!
6. They Will Have Other Friends
Remember that although being a grown up can feel like being back at school, it really isn’t. You have to learn to accept that your friends will have other friends, that you don’t mix with, whose lives you know nothing about. These ‘other’ friends don’t weaken or lesson your friendship and acting hyper competitive will only leave you as the one without the friends!
7. You Must Support Success
Some of your friends are going to be more successful than you, in relationships, careers even board games, support them, always! Some times you will be the more successful one and let me tell you the ones you support will be the ones who support you. Success changes over time, depending on life situations, drive and in some cases just out right dumb luck.
So there you have it, we all learn along the way, in all walks of life not just friendship. Sometimes it’s healthy to just take a moment and realise how great you have it, and if you don’t then how you can make changes.
I’d love to hear any friendship lessons you’ve learnt along the way