Spending the vast amount of time I do on the internet, it would be impossible for me to meander naïvely through life not noticing the negativity. However, despite the year having only just begun, there seems to be a wave of it hitting the world around me.
I want you to know, your negativity is not welcome here. Lemme just say as well, it’s a-ok to shut that shit down if someone in your life is bringing you down, talking negative nonsense and generally putting their own drama onto you.
One of my all time favourite women put it as beautifully as only she could this weekend at the BAFTA’s…
“When I was younger, when I was 14, I was told by a drama teacher that I might do OK if I was happy to settle for the fat girl parts. So what I always feel in these moments is that any young woman who has ever been put down by a teacher, by a friend, by even parents, just don’t listen to any of it, because that’s what I did. I kept on going and I overcame my fears and got over my insecurities.”
Kate Winslet. Awards winner, friend, mother, inspiration.
Rather than simply complaining about negativity, I thought I would share some of my favourite ways to see the positive, even in a really crappy situation. And believe me when I tell you although I am a happy-go-lucky person, I have had some really shitty things happen to me, lost more people than I can count on one hand by the time I was 25. What I’ve learnt more than anything else is simple, a negative mind will never lead to a positive life.
There is no negativity like grief, no all-consuming hatred for life and the living than the unutterable pain of losing one of your people. I realised through the black, suffocating cloud that is grief that by continuing to be negativity and bitter all I was doing was wasting the life I had and honestly I was disrespecting my wonderful dad who battled so hard to stay alive.
No two people grieve the same, but every single person who grieves has the power to live through it, not be defined by it. Grief is selfish and consuming and if you let it, it will take over your life and taint the lives of those around you. Believe me, I’ve watched it happen, recently.
So when life is making you feel hopeless try these three tips;
Become solution focused
Oftentimes people use negativity as a barrier to protect themselves from the world, which in turn blocks them from solutions that could improve their life. Instead, identify solutions.
- Don’t dwell too much on what went wrong
- Focus on the next positive step
- Spend your energy positivity
Focus on solutions, think & acting positively.
Love those around who want to be loved
Practice acts of kindness & courageous ness. It’s a lot harder to be negative when you’re surrounded by kindness, it’s like yawning, infectious.
Talk to someone you don’t know straight from your heart.
- Compliment someone – be kind to them and enjoy the smile that your kindness has created
- Let your guard down – be open-minded, try something new. Rather than just giving up negative things in your life and replace them with something new, something unplanned and out of your comfort zone
- Stop reading the words of people who fill your air space with negativity. Stop taking their words as gospel. Stop RSVPing to their bullshit.
Concentrate on today
Too often, we carry around things from the past, like stones around our neck. Regrets, shame, anger, pain, grief, etc.
Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Don’t let the negativity of your past rob your future of happiness. More so, don’t let it rob the people you love of your happiness.
You made it through those negative things alive, you survived and although unfortunate, they can’t be changed. Remember that, they cannot be changed.
You can decide right now to be happy. Do it now, for the love of all things great and good, do it now.