Mixed Weight?

Weight is such a funny thing, an open conversation for all to wade in on.

Last weekend something very strange happened, I thought that I would find solace in the form of other plus size bloggers, whilst at the BPSFW however what I was shocked to find was that I was judged as not being ‘plus size enough’
Let me lay it out for you, I am a size 16-18, I have size 38E boobs, a 30 inch waist and 38 inch hips, I am plus size, I know I am because I buy my own clothes and they most definitely do not say size 10 inside them!

But if a number of people I have met over the weekend are to believed I am not a true ‘plus size’ one girls words to me were ‘you are far too skinny to be plus size I can see your collar bones’ another woman was outraged to say the least that I was in a simple, sophisticated black outfit informing me I didn’t “understand fashion, clearly”. Of all the things in the world I do understand ‘fashion’ is one of them. It’s a feeling, an expression, not a fucking Mensa subject. So my response was “would you say that to Karl Largerfield” she looked at me blankly, a small victory for me I felt.

It feels very alien, I have always thought of myself as curvy, but the weekend compounded my feelings of not fitting in. But maybe its a good thing, maybe it’s helped me to see that actually fitting in with anyone isn’t what I want. Maybe I like the fact that I cant be pigeon holed. My mum hilariously just informed me that I am ‘mixed weight’ not slim enough to be straight size, not fat enough to be plus size.

There is nothing that I like less in this world than one person making another person feel inferior, for a group of women who shout from the roof tops ambien buy mail order about making others feel accepted and giving them a voice they have managed to completely ostracise me.

Who was this girl to tell me that I wasn’t enough of something? Or too much of something else? The plus size blogging community want to be heard, be noticed and be seen as mainstream. Sadly all that the last few days has shown me is the chasm some of them have created. Rather than empowering me to feel great about my body and fall more in love with fashion they have inspired me to go home, put my trainers on and get my ass into shape and get back the body I deserve, the healthy body I deserve.

I worry now that others feel this way, the pressure to fit in clearly isn’t reserved for the skinny minnie’s but instead has spread. What is the world coming too when there is no where to feel you belong? Are women putting themselves at as much risk keeping the weight on to be part of the plus size crown as they are keeping it off to be slim enough for mainstream? Is there a new wave of eating disorders and body dysmorphia on their way in the form of people forcing their bodies to conform with a new kind of norm?

At the Model 101 over the weekend, a curve model agency admitted to giving girls padding to fill them out on go see’s with clients. Isn’t this as bad as models starving themselves to be small enough for a client and sample sizes?

It’s also made me think about health, yes skinny doesn’t mean healthy, but let’s be honest neither does heavily over weight., my point isn’t that these women shouldn’t be heard, appreciated and valued but at what cost? The fashion world is moving away from the sample size 8 but is a sample size 20 any safer?

Would love to know your thoughts


  1. 21st February 2013 / 3:02 pm

    That is ridiculous. What gives someone the right to speak to another person like that? If you’re size 16+ that classes you as Plus Size doesn’t it? Or that’s the impression I got/have anyway. Plus Size women obviously come in all shapes and sizes just as ‘straight sized’ women do, so what was their problem?

    The more I hear of BPSFW, the more I am so pleased I didn’t go!

    Are you going to Plus North in September? I went last year and it was a great event and everyone was felt included and welcomed. Which is completely the opposite of BPSFW seemed to be.

  2. 21st February 2013 / 3:06 pm

    I’m so sorry you were spoken to in this way. I didn’t experience any of this at BPSFW but I have had quite a lot of it since blogging. There are certain people who feel that I – like you – don’t conform to their standards of plus-size because I have a 30″ waist and can easily fit into ‘straight’ sizes in stretchy clothing. But who are they to set these standards? At 46-30-47, my bust and hips are very much within the size 16-18+ size charts and like you I often feel forgotten about by clothing manufacturers due to my awkward proportions. It seems ironic that those who fight for inclusion can sometimes have very excluding attitudes towards others, and that makes me feel very sad indeed.

  3. 21st February 2013 / 3:20 pm

    WOW! That was quite a post. You should keep in mind that every community has it’s ‘radicals’ and those who’s own insecurity will cause them to turn on others. Women are particularly bad when it comes to this kind of play ground ‘bully’ behaviour. I belong to a ‘women in business’ group and my presence is often questioned because I work from home and don’t rush about in a business suit! However, those who know me and something about my business know that it is as valid and worthwhile (often more so) as the more conventional businesses. What Im trying to say is, in every group there is always going to be someone eager to put you down, don’t let them chang who you are or what you want.

  4. 21st February 2013 / 3:30 pm

    Great post! I’ve thought a lot about what plus-size does and doesn’t mean. I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum (was about a US 16 at my highest and my lowest was a US 4-6). After losing the weight I look like an average sized person (well, when fully clothed) but that doesn’t erase the hang ups I had from my plus-sized days, it doesn’t erase the stretch marks or loose skin either. Ironically, some of the clothing adaptions made for plus-sized ladies would be a great help to me but they didn’t come in my lowest size or are made for women with always thin body types (like bras with extra side support to prevent back/under arm fat, or shapewear that doesn’t fits quite right over my loose skin). Yet, there are times when I’ve felt like my opinion no longer matters in the plus-sized community because I’ve sized out of it.

    Like for you and Caroline I’m curvy too, which is just another added complication. I can also get into smaller sizes in stretchy clothes but would have to size up quite a few sizes to get my bust into non-stretch off the rack clothes (e.g. currently I’m pregnant and I can wear a XS/Small in stretchy shirts but in non-stretch shirts sometimes I need an XL+ alterations). It’s frustrating and hard to know where you fit in exactly.

  5. 21st February 2013 / 3:32 pm

    Wow, i’m so appalled. I’m a small girl, with 30-24-30 measurements but i’ve always felt a little outside of the “skinny” bracket, mostly due to societal pressure to be the perfect size zero, so it’s shocking to me that a movement, supposedly to encourage larger women to accept their natural size, is setting such harsh parameters. Suddenly there’s such a thing as not being plus sized enough, which is yet again marginalising the specifications for women to have “the desirable look” rather than encouraging all to embrace their natural differences. You’re right, it is dangerous. It’s continuing to perpetuate the idea that women have to look a certain way and be a certain size. For those who are smaller you must strive to be a size zero and for women who are larger you must strive to be the appropriate plus size otherwise you have an undesirable body and by default you don’t fit in. To quote Einstein; “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
    (also it is worrying that the modelling agency you spoke of pad their models. This is a step away from encouraging overeating and pushing an unnatural relationship with food onto their models.)

  6. 21st February 2013 / 4:03 pm

    As odd as it is I was relieved when I read your piece, so there is someone who feels like me and had been treated the same! Certainly an in-betweener, no mans size (or should I say no womans size). Not slim but according to plus size women not plus size either even though according to the fashion industry I’m a plus size on high street, in fashion modelling world I’d be plain out fat being a size UK14/16. Should these size categorized, if you want to categorize this subject in general, as normal these days? They seem to be but calling that normal would cause an outrage is the slim category because they deem any overweight as unhealhty so often. I stick to being me and not giving a toss about categories or what’s plus size or not. Only stick to my guns at saying that curvy is a shape, not a size!

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