Weight is such a funny thing, an open conversation for all to wade in on.
Last weekend something very strange happened, I thought that I would find solace in the form of other plus size bloggers, whilst at the BPSFW however what I was shocked to find was that I was judged as not being ‘plus size enough’
Let me lay it out for you, I am a size 16-18, I have size 38E boobs, a 30 inch waist and 38 inch hips, I am plus size, I know I am because I buy my own clothes and they most definitely do not say size 10 inside them!
But if a number of people I have met over the weekend are to believed I am not a true ‘plus size’ one girls words to me were ‘you are far too skinny to be plus size I can see your collar bones’ another woman was outraged to say the least that I was in a simple, sophisticated black outfit informing me I didn’t “understand fashion, clearly”. Of all the things in the world I do understand ‘fashion’ is one of them. It’s a feeling, an expression, not a fucking Mensa subject. So my response was “would you say that to Karl Largerfield” she looked at me blankly, a small victory for me I felt.
It feels very alien, I have always thought of myself as curvy, but the weekend compounded my feelings of not fitting in. But maybe its a good thing, maybe it’s helped me to see that actually fitting in with anyone isn’t what I want. Maybe I like the fact that I cant be pigeon holed. My mum hilariously just informed me that I am ‘mixed weight’ not slim enough to be straight size, not fat enough to be plus size.
There is nothing that I like less in this world than one person making another person feel inferior, for a group of women who shout from the roof tops ambien buy mail order about making others feel accepted and giving them a voice they have managed to completely ostracise me.
Who was this girl to tell me that I wasn’t enough of something? Or too much of something else? The plus size blogging community want to be heard, be noticed and be seen as mainstream. Sadly all that the last few days has shown me is the chasm some of them have created. Rather than empowering me to feel great about my body and fall more in love with fashion they have inspired me to go home, put my trainers on and get my ass into shape and get back the body I deserve, the healthy body I deserve.
I worry now that others feel this way, the pressure to fit in clearly isn’t reserved for the skinny minnie’s but instead has spread. What is the world coming too when there is no where to feel you belong? Are women putting themselves at as much risk keeping the weight on to be part of the plus size crown as they are keeping it off to be slim enough for mainstream? Is there a new wave of eating disorders and body dysmorphia on their way in the form of people forcing their bodies to conform with a new kind of norm?
At the Model 101 over the weekend, a curve model agency admitted to giving girls padding to fill them out on go see’s with clients. Isn’t this as bad as models starving themselves to be small enough for a client and sample sizes?
It’s also made me think about health, yes skinny doesn’t mean healthy, but let’s be honest neither does heavily over weight., my point isn’t that these women shouldn’t be heard, appreciated and valued but at what cost? The fashion world is moving away from the sample size 8 but is a sample size 20 any safer?
Would love to know your thoughts